Great and Amazing. Capital G. Capital A.

These are unrelated subjects. But check out Trunk Monkeys.

Alright, this blog is gettting a little boring so I think I'll do what all news programs do and I'll sensationalize it!! Woo hoo! So I thought I would tell you about my dreams because most of the time they are pretty vivid and always fucked up.

I also have these dreams where I'm dating people who are unattractive, psycho, or some combination of both. Recently, I had a dream that I was making out with Simon Cowell from American Idol. Maybe its the British accent or his excellent taste in tight black t-shirts that brought him into my dreamland. But in my dreams, it was his nipple ring that charmed me. Oh baby!

Also, within the last month, I had a dream that I was dating some old movie star but I can't remember who it was. All I remember was that he was a little chunky, had a large nose, and semi-longish dark hair. He had sort of a self-deprecating humor, and droopy eyes. Someone along the lines of Jon Lovitz, but I don't think it was him.

A few years ago, I dreamt that I was dating Ted Kisinski. In fact, the Unabomber and I were on a romantic hayride at Walt Disney World of all places. He tried to go in for a kiss; I resisted and then he got really angry. A chase ensued. I hid in the bathroom of a hotel terrified that the Unabomber was going to kill me.

So those are the only interesting dreams I can think of right now. About once a week, I have a dream where I lose my teeth. Supposedly, it means that I'm apprehensive about having children according to dreams dictonaries. Well damn right, I'm apprehensive about having children. Can you imagine something the size of melon squeezing out of your crotch?! If you're not fearful of that, then you'd be crazy!

So I was driving in my car yesterday and this song from my childhood came on the radio. I started singing along but for the first time ever, I listened to the lyrics. Really listened to the lyrics. All I can say is that my mom must have been traumatized when I was 5 years old and singing along with this song at the top of my lungs.

Here are the lyrics to "All I Wanna Do" by Heart with some commentary by me. A link to the mp3 for your listening pleasure:

It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up along side and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while
I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain
Fate tell me it's right, is this love at first sight
Please don't make it wrong, just stay for the night
All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will you want me too
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to

So we found this hotel, it was a place I knew well (She "knew well"?! Does that mean she does this often? Or that she is familiar with the hotel because she is a prostitute? Or because she in the hospitality industry?
We made magic that night. Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me, so many times, easily (Yikes! So many times!)
And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note
I told him I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden we planted a tree (This is just a bad analogy)
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there

So far, if I'm understanding this correctly, there is a woman who likes to pick up boys off of the street. Then she takes them to a hotel and sleeps with them. And then she just disappears from their lives. She sounds fucked up.

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to

Oh, oooh, we made love
Love like strangers
All night long
We made love

Then it happened one day, we came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes (Hello?! Can we say "lawsuit"?! Her next hit was entitled "All I Wanna Have is Child Support." )
I said please, please understand
I'm in love with another man
And what he couldn't give me
was the one little thing that you can
WHAT?! So now I'm not sure if she was prowling around for someone to impregnate her on that rainy night because her current lover was sterile. Or did she find this sterile lover after she was impregnated by the boy? The woman is obviously psycho. It reminds me of that Glenn Close/Michael Douglas flick. The boy should have known that sex with no strings attached was too good to be true.

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I want to do is make love to you
Come on, say you will, you want me too

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I want to do is make love to you
Say you will, you want me too

All night long ...

Why everyone makes a fuss about Michael Jackson, but not about this woman, I'll never know.

Following Mary and Aubrey's example, I took this test. What a sham! It's obviously way off! How come Aubrey and Mary get Summer's Boobs and I get Bad Hair! Incredible bullshit. Take the test for yourself and see if you fare better.


You are MARRISA'S BAD HAIR DAY.


What Quirk From THE OC Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is a special on-the-road blog! I'm in DC for part of Spring Break. Yay.

So I'm a bit obsessed with "The O.C." the new show on Fox, but I don't see why those guys are so special. I think a much better show would be "The O.C., N.C." I mean, I live in Orange County, North Carolina and I'm telling you that there is craziness going on here all the time. Way more than those pretty rich kids over in California. Maybe we don't have a beach, or any fancy parties, or anything. And as far as I know, none of my friends are hooking up with another friend's mom. We don't have controversial romances with the rich girl and the boy from the other side of the railroad tracks. But Chapel Hill does have a lot of similar drama to offer. "The O.C.,N.C." would center around the forbidden romance between a female Duke student and a male UNC student. All their friends will object, their family, maybe even their professors. Their grades will suffer, they'll become social outcasts in their respective campus communities. I figure the drama in the season will culminate around the Duke-UNC basketball game. That's all I got so far. But see how promising it is?

Jason told me today that there is a band with the name "The The" already. Craziness.

The The

So it turns out that real life doesn't appear to be for me, so I'm going to use rock music as my escape pod from my all too ordinary life. Fight the man and what not. Which basically means I need to create a rock band. I've got the basic ingredients:
- a guitar (with 2 years of self-taught experience)
- 9 years of classical piano lessons which maybe I can stretch to create rocking piano greatness
- a singing voice which can carry a tune although perhaps a bit shrill and nasal sometimes. I need to work on making it more like a rocker.

I need to establish some sort of identity though. I have such eclectic music tastes that I don't know which way to go. Should I be slightly patronizing but melancholic Radiohead style? Should I be enraged and rebellious like Metallica? Should I be a more pleasant, "chronicler of life" type like Springsteen?

I think I need to explore the girl-rock genre. I'm just talking lead vocals, not an exclusively girl-band. I don't particularly care for the Donnas. But Shirley Manson, has a career to aspire to. Or Fiona Apple, oh how I love her. Oooh or Chrissie Hyde; she exudes coolness.

Honestly though, the most important element of a band is a band name I think. If I just find the perfect band name, then everything else will fall into place. In my opinion a reliable formula for rock band names is Descriptive Adjective + Noun, where either word has a sort of badass-ness to it. Unfortunately, I'm not blessed with a cool name like Fiona Apple. Actually Garbage is a terrible band name, in my opinion. "The Pretenders" is pretty ingenius but now everyone has a band name of the form "The ." Anyway, I'm just going to throw a bunch of these names out there in no particular order. Admittedly, they aren't very good; some were made on the fly. Comments and suggestions are desperately needed:

Fightin' Fetus
Feed the Fetus (I like alliteration)
Raging Calamari
BAM!
Obsession
Obsessive Calamari
Calamari Obsession
Priscilla and the Squealers!!! (must include exclamation marks)
The The's
Random Kingdom
Hyperbole

I think I like Random Kingdom the best but Feed the Fetus is pretty fun. Anyway, send me your suggestions!

# posted by Priscilla : 3:19 AM |

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